Charmed: Be Careful What You Witch For (2.22)

It feels like the writers threw literally everything into the pot for the season finale. It's a method that show-runners employ all the time, and most of the time it works. But Charmed's second season ends on a messy note, with a plot that explodes into a dozen different storylines before dovetailing it to a routine conclusion. It's fine as an average episode that could have aired at any point during the middle of the season, but after stories like Astral Monkey and Apocalypse Not (two hours that easily could have been the season finale considering the explosive concepts of both scripts), Be Careful What You Witch For is more than a little underwhelming.

Charmed: Apocalypse Not (2.21)

It features a wailing performance from Paula Cole, as well as the worst running in the world ever, but Apocalypse Not is in fact a tightly-scripted detour down dramatic avenue. Hot on the heels of Astral Monkey, the show once again explores darker territory, with dialogue about the evils of the world, and the selflessness sometimes required to do the right thing. Charmed rarely delves into serious storytelling, but when it does, it's pretty memorable. Again, the show is exploring the sisters' actions themselves, and the cause and effect of the powers they wield.

Charmed: Astral Monkey (2.20)

Wacky shenanigans with monkeys ranks up there with baby poop humor in my list of all things awful, but Astral Monkey reaches the once-believed-to-be-impossible feat of not being indescribable garbage. It's actually a pretty wonderful meditation on cause and effect, morals and guilt. The ambition of the script and the concept of questioning the sisters' actions sticks out like a sore thumb on a show like Charmed, but judged on its own it's one of the series' strongest episodes, anchored by an emotional rollercoaster of a performance from Holly Marie Combs, who really works wonders with strong material like this.

Charmed: Ex Libris (2.19)

One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to television is when death is treated so casually. This episode sees a friendly college acquaintance of Phoebe's being attacked and beheaded on campus, just hours after they strike up a conversation while studying. Phoebe is obviously shocked at first, but then quickly starts goofing around about the murdered girl's ghost. And, as the episode continues, little is said about her family, or the fact that a college student was horrifically murdered in one of the most brutal ways imaginable and nobody is charged or investigated. I get that this is a silly Aaron Spelling show, but it's pretty lazy storytelling.

Charmed: Chick Flick (2.18)

It's always evident that a TV series has reached full confidence in what its doing when it starts to poke fun at itself. One of the countless things that make Chick Flick such a masterpiece is that writers Chris Levinson and Zack Estrin repeatedly pull from Charmed's history to create great dialogue, allowing our familiarity with the show as an audience to enhance the viewing experience. So, here, we get references to how terrible exposition can be, we finally get some answers on whether or not the sisters clean up after the demon attacks (and how they feel about in general). Chick Flick is also one of the few truly innovative Charmed hours, with a great central idea and perfect use of the show's protagonists.

Charmed: How to Make a Quilt Out of Americans (2.17)

There's some welcome ambiguity to this episode, especially when it concerns the three old women and their motives for stealing the sister's powers. All of them are lonely and aging, in a world where older people are shuffled off to be amongst their own and rarely acknowledged. But, at the same time, their behavior is pretty reprehensible. They've been digging up and skinning corpses, and they're happy to drug and manipulate three young women. Heh. They're some wacko old ladies! But there's sadness there, which gives the story some weight.

Charmed: Murphy's Luck (2.16)

It's always annoying when a show randomly comes up with major character points only to service a certain storyline, even more annoying when that story is referenced just once, and is only there to service a standalone mystery. Here, we discover Prue is familiar with depression, feels a huge amount of sadness over a car accident that occurred forever ago that injured Phoebe, and has contemplated suicide. Combine that with her out-of-nowhere 'passion' for photography, and Murphy's Luck should be a pretty annoying episode. However, even with the contrivances, it's a dark and emotional hour, saved by some great work from the actors.

Charmed: Give Me a Sign (2.15)

There was always something a little low-rent about Charmed's demons, and it's especially noticeable in seasons three and four, with various scenery-chewing actors gesticulating wildly in badly lit caves and crypts, clearly located on a sound-stage in L.A. somewhere. I bring this up because Give Me a Sign is really the first episode to feature that. Litvack is the first of numerous ordinary-looking demons wearing some kind of cape or robe, able to fling fireballs or whatever. I don't think it's a coincidence that this episode is also the first to reference The Source, Charmed's biggest Big Bad. While the character is interesting (I think, if I remember correctly), it marked a visually underwhelming evolution in Charmed's history, where demons and their headquarters were all universally fug...

Charmed: Pardon My Past (2.14)

This is an interesting episode, filled with some intriguing commentary on past lives and the seductive quality of evil. It has a lot of momentum for the first half, with some beautifully shot flashback sequences and some memorable performances from both Alyssa Milano and the guest stars. But it's also completely annoying that the episode falls apart in the last fifteen minutes. Anton and evil-Pheebs are vanquished without any trouble, no real explanation is given to why Phoebe Russell's cousins were so determined to kill her and not try and 'save her soul' instead, and I wish we had learned a little more about the lives of the Russell's in general. It's a major anti-climax.

Charmed: Animal Pragmatism (2.13)

Watching these episodes again, I'm actually starting to feel for Dan. Sure, he's as thrilling as a bowl of oatmeal, but Piper's shabby treatment of him is pretty awful. She's clearly hung up on Leo, and it's completely obnoxious to not just cut Dan loose, instead she's stringing him along and giving him the impression that he actually stands a chance. I always loved the final scene in Animal Pragmatism, with Piper's dream of running into Leo's arms in the middle of P3, but it's a little tainted now by how awful the two of them are being. Ugh. But, still, that scene was pretty wonderful. I'm usually resistant to big, sweepy romantic moments like that, but I admit that this one got me.

Charmed: Awakened (2.12)

I've mentioned it several times before, but for this episode I once again need to reiterate that logic was never Charmed's strong suit. Nevertheless, I never really understood why Leo and the Elders wouldn't step in when one of the sisters was endangered. In Awakened, Piper lies dying on a hospital bed, and reference is made to Leo not even being the Charmed Ones' Whitelighter anymore. When did this happen? I thought his powers were just taken away? Or am I blanking? Regardless, the sisters are seemingly without any kind of protection at this point, leaving them open to fatal attack. It just seems all so reckless and ridiculous. Won't somebody think of the [Charmed Ones]!!??

Charmed: Reckless Abandon (2.11)

I've mentioned it before, but one of the major TV staples I can't stand is the 'wacky results of maternally-inexperienced women thrust into a motherhood role' episode. It's always the same shtick. Characters rush around for diapers and baby supplies. Somebody is at some point covered in pee and/or poop and/or vomit. Or all of the above. Women usually end up learning some kind of lesson in the end, and learn to love the baby. It's just awful. Reckless Abandon, besides one or two cute moments, fits this pattern to a tee. From the annoying mid-'90s Lois & Clark-style sitcom music which plays over every baby scene to the various abhorrent montages of baby butts or the sisters cooing over the abandoned little boy they've taken in, it's pretty much a disaster of an episode.

Charmed: Heartbreak City (2.10)

Phoebe is all 'woe is me' here, naval-gazing and being generally mopey despite making everything worse for herself by hanging out with two couples on a daily basis. Doesn't she have friends away from her sisters? This episode mostly revolves around Phoebe and her love life. Or, to be more specific, lack of a love life. I find it amusing that the writers seem to have pulled this plot strand out of their butts. She's considered the most fun-loving and man-crazed sister, yet suddenly is written as a woman on the verge of cat lady territory because she happens to be the one single sister right now? Gah.

Charmed: Ms. Hellfire (2.9)

There was always an odd dichotomy to the character of Prue, and it's something the show has played around with in the past. There's the fiercely protective and conservative side, which is released at the office and in her insistence in being professional and working hard. Then there's the free-spirited, sexual and fun side, which isn't seen as often but is clearly screaming to get out. And by the flesh-o-rama outfits that have crept into her wardrobe this season, you can tell she's getting riskier. Charmed played around with this concept in Which Prue Is It, Anyway? last season, and the same is reflected here, both in her undercover stint as a leather-clad assassin-for-hire, and in her discovery of a new power: the ability to be in two places at once.

Charmed: P3 H20 (2.8)

Angsty and deeply personal for the series' protagonists, P3 H20 is season two's version of That '70s Episode, a dense family melodrama wrapped around an intriguing demon plot. The script explores the idea of history repeating itself, notably in Prue's terror that her life is becoming more and more like Patty's, making her worry that she'll suffer a similar fate -- her life cut short before she can experience anything truly meaningful. Meanwhile, Piper discovers that she is not the first member of the Halliwell genealogy to have a romance with a Whitelighter. Both stories are serviced with the care and time they individually deserve, and a lot of it is oddly prescient.

Charmed: They're Everywhere (2.7)

All the stuff about the Halliwell's dad never really goes anywhere. They raise Victor in part because of how dedicated Eric is to his own father, which is in sharp contrast to the fact that Victor abandoned them and seemingly doesn't give two hoots about his kids. This is all fine, but the fact that it goes nowhere fast and nothing is really achieved as a result of such breezy references severely impacts on the episode. What's more vapid than something so standalone are lazy attempts to make a standalone episode more important. And considering, with hindsight, that Victor's early season characterization is casually dismissed once you get to the James Read years, episodes like They're Everywhere become even more redundant.

Charmed: That Old Black Magic (2.6)

Besides Cole, Charmed was never known for its dynamic male characters. Season two was really the show's nadir in terms of testosterone, with an array of dismal males left right and center, each one as annoying as the next. Leo is especially groan-worthy here, his holier-than-thou attitude and random bursts of emotion!! both majorly contrived. I got the impression that Brian Krause still had no idea how to play the character at this point. Dan Gordon, Piper's latest boo, is a slab of beef with an annoying hair cut. His entire persona seems to be that "he's hot", with little spark anywhere else. And then there's newcomer Jack Sheridan. If there's one thing I can't stand more than anything else in romantic storylines, it's when two characters meet and immediately can't stand one another. The faux anger and sniping, mixed with the sexy sexy flirty banter, just bugs the hell out of me. In terms of relationships, this episode fails.

Charmed: She's a Man, Baby, a Man! (2.5)

Parts of this episode are pretty great. It has an absorbing 'whodunnit' format with a variety of suspects, an intriguing nemesis for the sisters to battle, and some hilarity in the gratuitous Alyssa Milano boob shots and her various scenes of orgasmic moaning and talk of vivid sex dreams. However, the episode is entirely derailed whenever it tries to get serious. Sexual politics when explored on this show almost always end up being trite and offensive. And we haven't even talked about Shannen Doherty's 'Manny Hanks' transformation. I'm guessing Hilary Swank won't be losing any sleep over that...

Charmed: The Devil's Music (2.4)

Aaron Spelling became notorious throughout the 1990's for forcing his shows to introduce a night-club hot spot for the characters to hang out and therefore listen to a popular band who just so happen to eschew major venues and perform at some low-rent Peach Pit instead. As a result, Charmed, through P3, welcomed onto the show an array of one-hit-wonders over the years. This, the first episode featuring a 'musical guest', features an elaborately contrived story involving Dishwalla, a name which creates a resounding "who?" nowadays. Away from the constant name-dropping of the band, The Devil's Music is still pretty darn awful, from its vaguely sleazy demon storyline to the various annoying subplots.

Charmed: The Painted World (2.3)

This wasn't actually as bad as I remembered it being. The idea of being trapped inside a painting is arguably pretty innovative, and The Painted World crosses that with general Charmed ridiculousness. But the hour is probably strongest from a Phoebe standpoint. There's an annoying "stay in school, kids!" message at the end, but up till then it's an amusing character-driven subplot, with Phoebe conjuring up a smart spell when she comes to the conclusion that her supposed lack of intelligence is what's preventing her from truly moving up in the world. Alyssa Milano is great here, showcasing her focused, impressive sitcom skills.