Dirty Sexy Money: The Bad Guy (2.13)

It happens so often that it's not wholly surprising anymore, but it's still crazily frustrating when a series you enjoy gets canceled so abruptly that the writers have little chance to wrap up all the loose ends before the show itself is shipped out to the funeral home. Dirty Sexy Money, canceled in the midst of a half-dozen lingering storylines, frustrates in its finale most of all because of where Craig Wright's attention seemed to lie. Surely the showrunners had some idea that ABC wasn't going to renew, and maybe then Wright could have written something a little more fulfilling. Instead of blessing his strongest characters with some kind of closure, Wright decides to concentrate almost entirely on several of the most ill-thought stories from the messy season two, leaving you more than a little pissed.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Unexpected Arrival (2.12)

Whenever a series introduces a mysteriously vague big bad with ties to everybody and a keen ability to orchestrate evil schemes which rattle the core of the series itself, it's probably helpful if the writers actually knew what to do with them. It's been hinted at all season, but The Unexpected Arrival truly confirmed how entirely unaware the writers were of how to handle Simon Elder. Even after rewatching, I don't understand why Simon wanted Nola to 'kill' him (before changing his mind), I don't understand why he saw Karen's pregnancy as an opportunity, and I don't understand why he spent so little time distracted by the fact that somebody blew up his car last episode. Blair Underwood is a great actor, yet it's insane that the show gives him essentially six different characters to play in the space of one episode.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Convertible (2.11)

'Endgame' is a term that has been bandied about between the fanbases of just about every TV series over the last couple of years, in regard to the idea of certain stories and (most commonly) certain relationships being chosen as the 'defining elements' of the series that will all come together when the show eventually wraps up. It appears that as Dirty Sexy Money got closer and closer to cancellation, the 'endgame couple' would be Nick and Karen, the writers determined to throw the two of them together in time for the last gasps of the series, regardless of rhyme nor reason.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Organ Donor (2.10)

The show lost a huge amount of momentum by skipping over the aftermath of the shooting. Even worse was the bizarre decision to kill Carmelita, a character who could have been explored further. What made this decision even more contrived was that it was the second time in, what, a couple of months that Patrick lost somebody close to him. And while Patrick did express some rage over her murder, it was pretty underwhelming considering how much he loved her. This is a guy who risked his entire political career to be with somebody 'controversial', and her murder is treated so casually. He didn't even seem broken up about it. This particular plot development was a major disservice to both the characters themselves, and the great discovery that was Candis Cayne.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Plan (2.9)

Can you say Maldovian Massacre? That's all I got from that ridiculous shooting rampage at the inauguration, something straight out of the Aaron Spelling playbook. Of course, it was a lot of fun, what with everybody ducking for cover, Jeremy hitting his head, and Nick leaping into the air to protect the family. Chase Alexander's motivations, like everything this season, were more than a little contrived, if only because we barely know the guy. There were vague allusions to losing his family, but I don't believe that he'd turn murderous in a snap like that. But I guess it runs in the family. Ellen, too, seemed merely uptight before suddenly turning into a crazed banshee.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Summer House (2.8)

Something went wrong here. For a couple of weeks, Dirty Sexy Money had been riding that wave of insanity pretty successfully, but here the show flew off the rails with a host of unfocused storylines, weird characterization and annoying plot developments. Least of all is Nick and Lisa's break-up, which is being handled appallingly. In one corner we have a bitter Lisa, who orchestrates a date with Jeremy in an attempt to make her ex jealous. Whatever you thought of Lisa before this episode, she wasn't a flighty teenage girl. In the other corner we have Nick, who two seconds after splitting with his wife is in a flirtatious new relationship with Wrenn. Excuse me? They were actually dating each other! And then later abandoning your newly ex-wife in the middle of a deep conversation to run after your hot young girlfriend is just low. Ugh.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Facts (2.7)

After a run of episodes with more twists than a hula hoop factory, it's puzzling why the powers that be intended to interrupt the show's crazy momentum with this glorified clip show. Far more interesting than the cut-and-paste shorter-than-average episode we have here is the background to how all of this came about. Supposedly, from day one, events conspired which made working on Dirty Sexy Money pretty much hell on earth. Everybody, from ABC's top-brass to series creator Craig Wright to show star and producer Peter Krause, had their opinion of how the show should work, creating numerous areas of conflict and re-writing of scripts. This isn't totally out of the ordinary for freshman TV. What is unusual is that six complete episodes of Dirty Sexy Money were shot, before being scrapped and hastily re-written to form the opening of season two.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Injured Party (2.6)

Wooooo, catfight alert! Now, I appreciate a catfight as much as the next soap opera viewer, and while the big Lisa/Karen slap-fest was a lot of fun, the sensationalist agenda of this season has made the whole thing explode into ridiculousness. Lisa in particular has had such a swift turnaround in personality in the space of one episode that I honestly don't know what the writers are thinking. She ends last episode weeping and desperate for her marriage to remain intact, she's suddenly chipper and only 'weirded out' by the separation at the opening of The Injured Party, then she turns crazed and beverage-happy at the party, before schtupping Jeremy, oh, about six minutes after her marriage hit the skids. Huh?

Dirty Sexy Money: The Verdict (2.5)

Wow, this was certainly a game-changer. Theories that the show had devolved into all-out soapy scandal prove entirely correct here, with a doozy of plot twists, character assassinations, ulterior motives and secret agendas revealed in a last-minute flurry of excitement at the end of the episode. The Verdict was shamelessly fun, but maintains that ugly quality that has made this season so frustrating. Few characters are likable anymore, some are plain reprehensible, and others are a question mark of the worst kind.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Silence (2.4)

Nick George is officially an asshole. Despite ignoring her for the last year, putting his work ahead of his family and failing to convince her that he isn't interested in another woman, Nick bars Lisa from getting financial and status-based help from Jeremy in her continued quest to run her own art gallery. Sure, Lisa and Jeremy have a history, but it's out of line to expect her to deal with his continued dealings with Karen while at the same time forcing her to not see Jeremy ever again. I hope that the show is writing Nick like this intentionally, in the hopes of conveying that he's being 'corrupted'. Otherwise it would just be ridiculous...

Dirty Sexy Money: The Star Witness (2.3)

It was a positive decision to make Nick's reunion with his mother not as peachy as it could have been. Through great work by Peter Krause here, the full extent of Nick's anger was evident, how for thirty years he has felt betrayed by the one woman who is supposed to be there for him and love him unconditionally. Claire's excuses were ridiculous. So she didn't fit into that world... and? While it's hard to fully escape the Darling universe (just ask Lisa), you don't abandon your child to fulfill that desire...

Dirty Sexy Money: The Family Lawyer (2.2)

The responsibility entrusted to Nick is at this point entirely ridiculous. This episode in particular sees him handling Leticia's arrest, then representing her as a lawyer, planning Ellen's funeral and deciding which Darling sibling should inherit the kingdom, while later he's entrusted with the job itself. Throw in the boat and the birthday party last episode, and literally everything is revolving around him. I don't actually blame Brian for hating his guts. He seems to get the attention that absolutely nobody else in the actual family gets.

Dirty Sexy Money: The Birthday Present (2.1)

A lot of the promotional materials for the second season of Dirty Sexy Money made it clear that the show had retooled over the summer hiatus, the abandoning of several shot and completed season one episodes and the re-writing of future storylines all improving the show as a whole. In general, it had become more the melodramatic night-time soap opera it was intended to be. The season premiere showcases the series has a clear, better focused drive to each of the character's stories. If I remember correctly, this is quickly derailed as the season progresses, but we actually seem to understand everybody's motives right now, which is more than could be said for season one.