Charmed: Reckless Abandon (2.11)

I've mentioned it before, but one of the major TV staples I can't stand is the 'wacky results of maternally-inexperienced women thrust into a motherhood role' episode. It's always the same shtick. Characters rush around for diapers and baby supplies. Somebody is at some point covered in pee and/or poop and/or vomit. Or all of the above. Women usually end up learning some kind of lesson in the end, and learn to love the baby. It's just awful. Reckless Abandon, besides one or two cute moments, fits this pattern to a tee. From the annoying mid-'90s Lois & Clark-style sitcom music which plays over every baby scene to the various abhorrent montages of baby butts or the sisters cooing over the abandoned little boy they've taken in, it's pretty much a disaster of an episode.

The Van Lewen story reminded me a lot of The Wedding from Hell from last season. Both involve wealthy San Francisco families, both involve secrets from their history, and both feature guest acting reminiscent of one of Aaron Spelling's old soap operas. And the ending, in which Stephanie Beacham throws herself over a balcony after Phoebe suggested she kill herself to end the curse, is pretty awkward. Thanks for just giving up and putting the whole 'suicide' idea in her head, Pheebs. Yeesh.

Piper's romantic problems continue to blow, if only because she comes off like an annoying shrew here. Oh noes, her boyfriend is just too damn perfect. In the words of Chandler Bing: "My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!" Girl needs to cram it. This whole episode is pretty annoying. Way too cutesy, folks acting way out of character, baby moments straight out of some bad sitcom, and Sable Colby giving sustained O-face while getting electrocuted by a ghost. Eek. D

Crimes of Fashion Is Prue intentionally channeling early '90s Gloria Estefan with that gypsy ensemble she's wearing for a lot of this episode, with the frilly blouse and multicolored dress? She looks deranged, as usual.

Credits
Guest stars Stephanie Beacham (Martha Van Lewen); J. Kenneth Campbell (Elias Lundy); Hillary Danner (Alexandra Van Lewen); Lochlyn Munro (Jack Sheridan)
Writer Javier Grillo-Marxuach Director Craig Zisk