I had forgotten how little the Triad factors into season eight, their deaths immediately thrusting Christy center stage for the final battle. Of course, this is also the episode in which Billie is revealed as 'the ultimate power', an enormous slap in the face to everybody who has watched this show for the last eight years. What I find strange is that the writers knew the fan reaction to Billie at this point, and yet still insisted on having her monopolize the season like a bad case of crabs. Kaley Cuoco has never appeared totally comfortable with this material, and it's insane that everybody involved didn't slowly diminish her screentime over the course of the year.
Despite being the source of this episode's title, Paige's marital hijinks were pretty slight. There's something 'off' about the whole thing, anyway, starting with her initial frustration at being engaged, and then the personal gain alert! wedding ceremony. It feels like the show rapidly sped up this entire relationship, and everything feels a little phony as a result. Ivan Sergei is still wonderful, but "meh" all round.
Because everything in the world revolves around Phoebe, the Elders have sent Cupid her way to set her love life back on track. I have no idea why the Elders deem Phoebe the most screwed-over Charmed One when Piper is weeping in a corner over her one-time Elder, full-time frozen husband, but I haven't got enough booze in my system to sustain my will to whine anymore. Gah. Ooh, but I ought to mention that hilariously horrible moment where Billie crucifies Phoebe for not immediately jumping the bones of the handsome stranger she literally just bumped into. Stay classy, show.
Elsewhere, we once again had random demons wanting to "kill the Charmed Ones" in order to "tip the balance between good and evil". It's ridiculous how repetitive this all is. On a similar note, the grand battle at the end of the episode felt a little anticlimactic, especially coming straight after twenty minutes of the sisters panicking over their deadly new enemies. In the end, two members of the Triad are casually blown up, and the day is saved. Boring. D
Guest stars Ivan Sergei (Henry Mitchell); Larry Cedar (Xar); J.D. Cullum (Minion); Leland Crooke (Candor); Steven J. Oliver (Asmodeus); Soren Oliver (Baliel); Marnette Patterson (Christy Jenkins); Victor Webster (Coop)
Writer Jeannine Renshaw Director Stuart Gillard