Nip/Tuck: Duke Collins (5.8)

I'm so over Julia and Christian. It's not surprising that they're overcome with lust once again (Julia just flies between him and Sean every season, anyway), but the sordid details of this particular storyline are ridiculously frustrating. In one corner, we have Christian blindly believing that this time is for real and that they're meant to be together, despite all the past evidence showing that this sexually dysfunctional threesome are destined to orbit around each other until the end of time. Then we have Julia, happy to lie to her frustrated girlfriend, and cheat on her with a dude. Julia with anybody is never totally convincing anymore, but I wish the show would at least try and not write everybody involved so horribly.

For the first time this season, hag-demon Eden was pretty fun. And, no, I didn't intentionally throw in all those rhyming words just then. At least she's trying to be a little manipulative and ambiguous here, instead of bulldozing through with her evilness like a nympho on wheels. There's something deliciously soapy about lacing somebody's fruitcake with poison, and it did admittedly fit the Christmas theme. That's a weird sentence.

Matt's subplot with burn-victim Rachel was intriguing, but what Matt doesn't need is another crutch. He's had so many opportunities now to turn his life around that he shouldn't be painted as the injured party in regards to his parents. Some tough love is what he needs, not a shoulder to cry on. The annoying fall-out from last episode also reached Kimber, who was particularly mean here. Most of the time her bitterness comes from a place of sadness, but she was plain nasty this episode. And I'm sure her adoption plan isn't so cut-and-dry. Not that anybody seems to care, anyway. Sean, Christian and Julia all seem to forget about Jenna by next episode. Gah.

Elsewhere, the carolers had a couple of funny lines, and the shot-in-the-face-Santa was fine... I guess. But both subplots got lost in the shuffle with so much else going on. Duke Collins is the first in a couple of episodes which feel a lot like the show treading water. Meh. C

Credits
Guest stars Portia de Rossi (Olivia Lord); AnnaLynne McCord (Eden Lord); Joel McKinnon Miller (Duke Collins); Maggie Siff (Rachel Ben Natan); Mary Pat Gleason (Carol McCrackin); Jackie Debatin (Nancy Collins); Kelsey Lynn Batelaan (Annie McNamara); Keith Pillow (Doctor); Daniel Polo (Duke's Son); John Schneider (Ram Peters)
Writer Lyn Greene, Richard Levine Director Elodie Keene