Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The X-Files: Teso Dos Bichos (3.18)

Hahahahahahahah. Lord, this episode was stupid. Not since season one has there been an hour so lacking in anything resembling The X-Files as we now know it. The story is uninspired, the mythology as generic as it comes, and numerous contrived depictions of crazed violence and shocking murder try to fill in the gaps of a ridiculous script. It moves along at a brisk pace, but yeesh this one blew.

The general plotting of Teso Dos Bichos is straight out of a low-rent B-movie: a cursed urn, a museum of natural history, angry natives, and evil western folk dropping like flies. Mulder and Scully are left as mere ciphers orbiting such a lame mystery, both looking bored out of their minds as bad guest stars quote pretensions while under the influence of mystical hallucinogens.

There's something so silly about Mulder and Scully being attacked by a gaggle of killer pussies, and that's probably because it's played so straight. Stuck in the middle of such an experimental season for this show, scenes of Scully's face being scratched and clawed by Kitty Cujo are crying out for some kind of irony. But, no, it's played like a serious horror movie.

From the sight of the shaman in his mystical outfit standing on a hill to the stoned curator and finally to those darn cats, this is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Goofy as hell, and it ranks up there among the worst the show has produced so far. Rating D-

Guest stars Vic Trevino (Dr. Alonzo Bilac); Janne Mortil (Mona Wustner)
Writer John Shiban Director Kim Manners

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