Nip/Tuck: Dawn Budge (4.5)

You can almost forgive the show for it's contrived fast-forwarding of the Christian and Michelle relationship. If there's one thing you can expect from Nip/Tuck, it's rapid acceleration to get to a certain plot point. If you ignore their annoying professions of love for one another, you finally get to the storyline gold: Christian's interaction with James is vintage show. She's a beautiful older woman with maximum sex appeal, he can't contain himself -- if it weren't for the fact that she's a crazy blackmailer. Their scenes glimmer with sexual tension, and it's so, so awesome to see.

Undercovers: Pilot (1.1)

Alias, J.J. Abrams' first attempt at an espionage action drama, lived and died by its convoluted and ultimately unsatisfying mythology. While the show ranks up there amongst my favorite ever series, it was a little disheartening that it ended so abruptly with a conclusion that made little cohesive sense. However, the fun was in the journey. The destination just happening to be disappointing doesn't necessarily dent the show as a whole, for me anyway. I bring this up because Abrams and company have made a marked effort to make their new spy series wholly different from Alias, giving it a mission-of-the-week vibe and brightening up the tone, allowing for a whole lot of sexy banter and sexy action from its sexy, sexy leads. Sex sex sex.

Nip/Tuck: Shari Noble (4.4)

There is a lot of sexual chemistry in the scenes between Christian and Michelle. Well, he's Julian McMahon, so I'm sure he'd have sexual chemistry with a jar of tofu, but that's beside the point. What these two have is an irresistible connection, and their scenes in this episode sparkle with banter and secret longing. Michelle's back-story is particularly fun in its soapiness (anything with high-class call-girls and sexual blackmail is a win in my very trashy book), while Jacqueline Bisset is a revelation as James. I don't know if it's the accent or the take-no-prisoners attitude (or, you know, the fact that's she so cavalier in the whole 'smashing paperweights into the faces of pretty young women' department), but she's the show's finest femme fatale since Ava. Rawwr.

Nip/Tuck: Monica Wilder (4.3)

The rapid deconstruction of Christian Troy has been one of the clearest character arcs so far this season. We've already had him questioning his own mind and spirit with his fear over his potential homosexuality, and now he's left questioning his body. A lot of media coverage was dedicated to the shower scene here, and it was pretty darn hilarious. Mike Hamoui is an obnoxious "physical terrorist", a man so vacuous that his whole life revolves around his body. He's Christian but even worse. Mario Lopez, nothing but a pair of washboard abs, was fine, and did exactly what the role called for. Namely, said washboard abs and some tight butt-cheeks.

Nip/Tuck: Blu Mondae (4.2)

Both Sean and Christian projected their own internal crises onto others in this episode, Christian most notably with gay-for-pay hustler Mitchell. Surely if Christian can 'cure' Mitchell's fluid sexuality, he'll know that it's also possible for himself, right? While it's clear that Christian isn't gay, it's telling that he's still so insecure about Faith's diagnosis from last episode. But I guess when he's never had a real relationship with a woman, it's unsurprising that he's questioning just who he is as a person.

Bonus - The Whole Truth: Pilot (1.1)

Maura Tierney is the definition of a great TV star. She commands the small screen with charm and power, and has been a regular on our TV sets for what seems like forever. It's also wonderful to see her healthy, kick-ass and playing a character far removed from her Abby Lockhart days. It needs to be said, however, that she is far too good for The Whole Truth. When this show inevitably goes south, I hope ABC throws even more pilot scripts at her, giving her a series that's actually worthy of her talents.

The X-Files: Teliko (4.3)

You're already battling against the odds by following an episode like Home, but this is surprisingly flat even for an uninspired standalone X-File. Howard Gordon creates a dialogue-heavy spook-fest without the spook, cribbing a bunch of elements from other, stronger episodes and attempting to shoe-horn in as many believable uses of the word "obfuscate", which I'm assuming really caught his attention on his word-of-the-day toilet paper.

The X-Files: Home (4.2)

In a particularly sweet moment in this otherwise horrifying episode, Mulder tells Scully that he never saw her as a mother. It's an odd piece of irony, since she's always been the more compassionate and protective of the two. In some ways, she does play mom to Mulder, in that she's always shouting down his outrageous theories and is always intent on sending him down the right track when it comes to their cases. What makes Mulder's comment all the more fun is that the one mother we actually see in Home is plain batshit. An archetypal "stern, protective, imbred incest mommy", if you could actually call that an 'archetype'.