Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhllrlrrraaaarr! This is another masterpiece of suck. Similarly to Shannen Doherty's emotional investment rapidly shattering to pieces back in season three's Once Upon a Time, you can just about spot Rose McGowan's soul packing up its bags and fleeing the set for a vacation home in Cabo right around the moment where she dances around in a fountain with two morons in fugly green satin. Seriously, whose wheaties did Rose pee in to get saddled with this material? Like getting groiny with a bunch of leprechauns just two weeks ago wasn't bad enough? Nymphs Just Wanna Have Fun is the total nadir of the series. God, even that title is hideous.The introduction of the nymphs marks Charmed's return to awful storytelling presumably directed at pre-teen girls. We've had fairies and unicorns and rainbows, but the ideas depicted here are painfully mundane. The villains are once again personality-free drones, the outcome is unsurprisingly contrived, and the annoying wind-chime score accompanying all the nymph sequences feels like a auditory hangover.
Also ridiculous is the idea that all of San Francisco's media is captivated by these dancing women, who would easily be treated as a bunch of annoying performance artists in the real world. Then again, this is the same bizarro world where Phoebe is awarded 'Columnist of the Year'. Chortle. Elsewhere there's a random Piper/Paige rivalry, another Charmed subplot pulled out of Brad Kern's butt for no other reason than to fill time.
Finally, there's Phoebe sleeping with her boss. We don't need to see her breasts hanging out of her party dress, or the walk of shame the next morning, or the grunting sounds while she remembers the previous night's tryst. This is just the worst; a forty-minute exercise in embarrassment and absurdity that's as illogical as it is ugly. Nymphs Just Wanna Have Fun deserves its own special seat in hell. F
Crimes of Fashion Phoebe opens the show in the process of choking her own cleavage in that insanely tight cocktail dress, presumably welcoming the visual comparison to an airport lounge hooker. But the real criminal clincher is when she proceeds to empty her purse and dump about thirty tampons onto a coffee table. What a fucking lady.
Credits
Guest stars Katherine Cunningham-Eves (Daisy); Susan May Pratt (Miranda); Jaimz Woolvett (Tull); Pat Healy (Xavier); Eric Dane (Jason Dean); Loudermilk (Themselves)
Writers Andrea Stevens, Doug E. Jones Director Mel Damski
Hahahahaha, I really got a kick out of the Phoebe comments here. That slutso outfit just made me feel nauseous. As for the episode, it's a bit of a disaster, though there's worse to come, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHhahhaha hilarious review. They really deserved it! Agreed with everything word for word. Nothing to add except your sarcasm is epic!
ReplyDeleteIt’s a shame there’s so much misogyny in these reviews and responses.
ReplyDelete