Charmed: Malice in Wonderland (8.2)

I can watch season one's The Wedding from Hell over and over again, primarily because it's so completely terrible that it becomes some of the finest unintentional comedy this show ever produced. Hilariously, that episode has a rival for the crown, and it's this entirely misjudged car crash. Malice in Wonderland is shockingly ill-conceived, every corner of the script peppered with the most ridiculous, offensive storylines ever portrayed on Charmed, propped up by a demon scheme that goes nowhere fast and additional Billie junk that makes your brain leak out from your nose. It's by far one of the funniest episodes in the show's history.

Charmed: Still Charmed and Kicking (8.1)

Here we go. Still Charmed and Kicking is the beginning of 'Zombie Charmed', an entirely unnecessary final gasp of existence that looks as ugly as sin and is barely as exciting. The premiere arrives with an awkward follow-up to last season's coda, the sisters now undercover with new identities and the demon community eager to unleash all kinds of shiny evilness now that the Halliwells are supposedly dead. It's the show going in the exact direction you'd think it would. There's no spark here, little purpose, and everybody seems entirely over the characters they're playing. Only Brian Krause seems to be having fun anymore, probably because he's shifted thirty pounds over the summer. But, wait a second. Here I am discussing weight loss when there's an enormously shitty elephant in the room that deserves immediate discussion!

Angel: Just Rewards (5.2)

For anybody who read my recent Buffy reviews, you'll know that I got really into the Spike/Buffy relationship at the end of the series. And while I love that they wrote Spike into Angel season five and remember with a lot of fondness the material they give him this year, I can't help but feel that moving Spike over to another show sort of... cheapened his death? Because that death scene was so powerful and romantic and I loved the idea that that was the very end of his relationship with Buffy and the lasting impression he left on us all, only for it all to be undermined by his arrival in Los Angeles. Again, I love Spike on this show, but it was just something that I suddenly realized this time around.

Angel: Conviction (5.1)

It's evident from that very first scene -- a generic copycat of that classic Angel trope of David Boreanaz swooping in like Batman and saving a pretty blonde from a vampire. Only this is the fifth season, and Angel isn't that lone hero anymore. So immediately a swarm of lawyers descend on the scene, armed with contracts and offers of coffee, and Angel is left just as bemused as the woman he saved from a blood-sucking fiend. This is clearly a very different show.

The X-Files: Underneath (9.12)

By this point, there's definitely a formula for these kinds of episodes. There are some grizzly prosthetics, visuals lifted straight from Se7en, a serial killer randomly pursuing innocent people to kill, a third-act supernatural plot twist. Rinse and repeat. It's only when the show manages to stumble upon a decent guest actor or add some dimension to the character himself that things actually brighten up a little. But it still can't disguise the fact that Underneath is another drab entry in the X-Files 'serial killer' wheelhouse.

The X-Files: Audrey Pauley (9.11)

Audrey Pauley shares various superficial similarities with 4-D from earlier in the year. They're both written by Steven Maeda, and both are pulpy, experimental thrillers involving Reyes lost in time and space. They're also the only two episodes this season that could easily be compared to vintage X-Files, at least in terms of quality. This is a fascinating hour in which science fiction is used as a vessel for a traditional procedural story, but the honesty of the characters and the way in which Maeda's plotting furthers the Doggett/Reyes relationship both cement it as something of a modern X-Files classic.

Dawson's Creek: Secrets and Lies (3.6)

I think we've all those moments where we wished we could go back to a specific place in time, a time in which your life was in a better state, or if your prospects were brighter, or when you were happy in a relationship. It's a relatable story, and considering how hard she's fallen, it's understandable that Andie would want to get back together with Pacey and act as if nothing bad had ever happened. But because of all the damage the writers have done to Andie over the last four episodes, everything she does in Secrets and Lies is pretty ugly... even if her instincts are believable.

Dawson's Creek: Indian Summer (3.5)

It's becoming clearer as time goes by that the show had no idea what to do with Eve. Thankfully appearing for the final time, Eve is once again depicted as a different person this week. A girl who started off as a porno movie caricature is now this knowing, self-aware stereotype aware of how ridiculous she is. In Indian Summer, Eve's levels of insanity inspire an elaborate film noir pastiche -- all awkward camera angles, moody lighting and melodramatic dialogue. But thankfully it again explores the absurdity of her character, Gina Fattore and Tom Kapinos' script almost making her as batshit as possible to complete this lengthy form of satire. At least that's how it comes off.